Adopting an older child is full of ups and downs. Some days you feel like you have it all figured out and other days you feel like pulling your hair out.
We adopted our daughter when she was 8yrs. 11 mos. old. In the beginning she was accomodating, happy and very personable. We didn't see any grieving or odd behaviors. Once we returned home from the "honeymoon periord" things began to change. As long as things were going well, she was all smiles. One day she accidentally broke a toy that belonged to her little brother. When she was questioned (gently) about it she began to shriek. She opened her mouth widely and wailed and moaned for two hours straight. We were dumbfounded by the length of this wailing session. We began to walk on eggshells. The sessions happened 2-3 times a week. Sometimes she would throw her body around slamming herself into furniture and throwing her limbs around. Sometimes just the howling. We went to a birthday party for my nephew and my oldest daughter wanted to spend the night with her cousin after the party. We agreed and when we left Ashlyn (our older adoptee) refuses to leave the party. We had to carry her howling out of the party.
These sessions went on much the same for approximately 6 mos. Then we moved and my husband didn't move with us right away. He stayed behind and put our house up for sale. The screeching, howling sessions increased and as a single parent for a short time-I did pull on my hair quite frequently. My husband wasn't sure it was her or me acting up.
I started researching attachment issues and therapists and found out that many of the frustrations and pain I was feeling were frequent responses by parents dealing with attachment issues.
That's when the healing process started for our daughter and our family.
